Had To Go

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Posts by Had To Go

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  37

  Disfellowshipping Offense

  by Had To Go in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so i went to my sister's wedding this past sunday, which happened to be smack dab in the middle of a church service.

  my all faithful husband told me it was a dfing offense and that he was obligated to tell the elders that i was going to a church.

  i really could care less about the actual act of being df it is the fact that my husband felt the need to "turn me in".

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  Had To Go

  I am surprised that no one has commented on him telling me it is a sin to go to church. He felt I was sinning and he turned me in like he would any JW...even though I have not been to the hall in 8 months and have told him repeatedly that I no longer consider myself a JW.

  He did finally apologize last night right before bed. That makes things a little more tolerable. Not much, but a little. He said he acted hastily. Get this...he said he should have given me the opportunity to tell the brothers myself like the bible says. So I don't guess he was apologizing for turning me in but more so apologizing because he didn't do it in the right way. Even though he knows that I would NOT talk to them anyway. I told him already that I no longer play by their rules.
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  37

  Disfellowshipping Offense

  by Had To Go in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so i went to my sister's wedding this past sunday, which happened to be smack dab in the middle of a church service.

  my all faithful husband told me it was a dfing offense and that he was obligated to tell the elders that i was going to a church.

  i really could care less about the actual act of being df it is the fact that my husband felt the need to "turn me in".

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  Had To Go

  Newchapter -

  but do you think he may be using your religion to control you?

  I guess it has turned into a control issue at this point. He probably feels like he has lost control of me. I am trying to usurp his headship. He is losing his tight grip.

  We go to marriage counseling this afternoon. Perfect timing. I am not sure what is going to come out of it.
• 
  37

  Disfellowshipping Offense

  by Had To Go in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so i went to my sister's wedding this past sunday, which happened to be smack dab in the middle of a church service.

  my all faithful husband told me it was a dfing offense and that he was obligated to tell the elders that i was going to a church.

  i really could care less about the actual act of being df it is the fact that my husband felt the need to "turn me in".

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
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  Had To Go

  He just told me that going to church was a sin and I knew that when I dedicated myself to jehovah. And that is why he had to "tell on me". OMG! Really?!?! Isn't that stretching it just a little far?
• 
  37

  Disfellowshipping Offense

  by Had To Go in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so i went to my sister's wedding this past sunday, which happened to be smack dab in the middle of a church service.

  my all faithful husband told me it was a dfing offense and that he was obligated to tell the elders that i was going to a church.

  i really could care less about the actual act of being df it is the fact that my husband felt the need to "turn me in".

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
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  Had To Go

  Were there two events or one? A normal Sunday sermon and a wedding?

  Well there was nothing "normal" about this experience at all. I grew up a Southern Baptist and I think this might be a non-demoninational church. But yes they got married at the church service...right up on stage in front of more people that they probably didn't know, than did. It was just a quick saying of their vows pretty much. It was toward the end of the service, so maybe me saying it was in the middle wasn't all that truthful. But it wasn't as if the crowd was dismissed and then they were married.
• 
  37

  Disfellowshipping Offense

  by Had To Go in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so i went to my sister's wedding this past sunday, which happened to be smack dab in the middle of a church service.

  my all faithful husband told me it was a dfing offense and that he was obligated to tell the elders that i was going to a church.

  i really could care less about the actual act of being df it is the fact that my husband felt the need to "turn me in".

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Had To Go

  So I went to my sister's wedding this past Sunday, which happened to be smack dab in the middle of a church service. My all faithful husband told me it was a DFing offense and that he was obligated to tell the elders that I was going to a church. I really could care less about the actual act of being DF it is the fact that my husband felt the need to "turn me in". So in talking to him tonight he acts like he is not sure if it is or not.

  Those of you with a copy of the elder's manual, can you please tell me if attending a church service is indeed listed as a DFing offense.
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  22

  JWs and Counseling/Psychologists/Therapists

  by Had To Go in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello - i am hoping that some born-ins, still-ins, elders (ex), ms, etc.

  can help me with a question i have.

  what is the typical jw thought on seeking counseling via a licensed therapist or psychologist?

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  Had To Go

  Bro Dan - You said:

  We have to show a united front, even though we believe different things.

  Great advice! I also need to keep this in my mind AT ALL TIMES:

  You have to take your time, show a TON of patience, and show a TON of love.
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  22

  JWs and Counseling/Psychologists/Therapists

  by Had To Go in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello - i am hoping that some born-ins, still-ins, elders (ex), ms, etc.

  can help me with a question i have.

  what is the typical jw thought on seeking counseling via a licensed therapist or psychologist?

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  2. 
  3. 
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  Had To Go

  My point is that sometimes patience and subtlety will have a better result than in-your-face opposition to the JW belief system. If you can instill values of love and kindness in your children without tying their behaviour to "making Jehovah happy", your husband will be able to see that it is possible to raise a family with solid values without the JWs' influence.

  Thanks for the great advice, Scully. I really do appreciate it.
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  22

  JWs and Counseling/Psychologists/Therapists

  by Had To Go in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello - i am hoping that some born-ins, still-ins, elders (ex), ms, etc.

  can help me with a question i have.

  what is the typical jw thought on seeking counseling via a licensed therapist or psychologist?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Had To Go

  Well he finally said this morning that he wouldn't be totally opposed to going. I "borrowed" a few things you guys said and I guess it worked!

  NOW for the hard part. I guess I have to decide if I can stand to watch my husband and 2 young boys go off to be indoctrinated and recruiting every week. It kind of makes me sick to my stomach. My husband is not a tyrant by any means. His "headship" never bothered me before because I don't usually mind someone taking the lead so much. But what is always in the back of my mind is that if I do leave at least my boys won't be quite as indoctrinated because they would be with me (and not going) at least 1/2 of the time. But is it that serious? Do I want to break up a marriage over it? I also want to stick around in hopes that he will see the truth about the truth and I will be here to help him...and I know that that does not happen overnight.

  Brother Dan - I know you have kids...how do you do it?
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  22

  JWs and Counseling/Psychologists/Therapists

  by Had To Go in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello - i am hoping that some born-ins, still-ins, elders (ex), ms, etc.

  can help me with a question i have.

  what is the typical jw thought on seeking counseling via a licensed therapist or psychologist?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Had To Go

  Thanks for all of your comments and advice. It is so nice and extremely helpful to be able to "talk" to like-minded people who have been there and done that. It makes a terrible situation not feel quite as lonely as it otherwise is...
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  22

  JWs and Counseling/Psychologists/Therapists

  by Had To Go in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello - i am hoping that some born-ins, still-ins, elders (ex), ms, etc.

  can help me with a question i have.

  what is the typical jw thought on seeking counseling via a licensed therapist or psychologist?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Had To Go

  When you go to counseling you both need to accept that there are things you BOTH need to work on.

  That is the problem. He has even ME questioning if I am the real problem and he has no horse in the race. He thinks that the downfall of our happiness was the day I left the KH. He asked me today to admit to myself, himself and everyone else that I won't be happy unless he is no longer a JW. Of course I would be ecstatic if that happened. Because I think this religion is what is driving a wedge in our marriage. Since I quit going he has been on a spiritual high and has yet to come down. I left this religion for a reason and it is still too big a part of my life and in my face DAILY.